have come to believe that the problem is not that we do not want to change, nor is the problem that we are not trying to change. The problem is that we are not training. We have never been taught a reliable pattern of transformation.
The reason they failed was not a lack of willpower. In fact, the will actually has no power. The will is the human capacity to choose. Should I wear a red shirt or a blue one?we ask ourselves. Ultimately we choose the blue one, and our will is the hinge on which the decision is made. But the will does not actually do anything. If I could look inside you to find your will, I would never find it. It is not next to your gallbladder! It is not an organ or a muscle that can grow or atrophy. The will is more like a beast of burden that simply responds to the impulses of others.
The three primary influencers on the will are the mind, the body and the social context.
First, what we think in our minds will in turn create emotions, which leads to decisions or actions. Second, the body is a complex inner working of impulses that influence the will. Most of our bodily system runs without our help, but when the body has a need (food, water) it expresses itself to the mind through feelings (hunger, thirst) and alerts the mind to send a message to the will: Get food now. Finally, the will is also influenced by our social context. We are highly influenced by the people around us. We call this “peer pressure.”