Making decisions solely to please others is a formula destined to fail. The people I admired were not looking over their shoulders to see if their peers were applauding.
It becomes more natural to say no. Criticism and complaints come more easily.
“Friday, my eight-year-old, Samantha, burst into the kitchen with a gleam in her eyes. ‘Mommy Mommy, there’s a monster in the closet!’ she shrieked. Normally, I would have thought my best reply to be a reality check for her. I would have said something like: ‘No, dear, there is no monster in the closet. It’s just your imagination, sweetie.’ Instead, considering the rule of yes, I turned from the dishes I was washing and said: ‘There is? Wow, let’s go see!’ I accompanied her to the closet, where we had a dynamic encounter with the monster, capturing it and squealing with delight...
Blocking comes in many forms; it is a way of trying to control the situation instead of accepting it. We block when we say no, when we have a better idea, when we change the subject, when we correct the speaker, when we fail to listen, or when we simply ignore the situation. The critic in us wakes up and runs the show. Saying no is the most common way we attempt to control the future.