If you create a character who backs into a conversation with tentative phrases like, “Oh, I was just wondering,” or, “I don't know how to say this, but if I, well, let me say it this way,” we get it. We understand this is a timid, nervous person, afraid of saying something wrong, sensitive to others' feelings. Avoid the temptation to explain. Don't follow that with, “she began nervously, unsure how to broach the subject.”
To get passion into your story, do it through your characters. What angers you can anger them. What lifts them up will inspire us in turn. Even ordinary people can be poets, prophets, and saints. That's true in life, so why not in your fiction?
What in the world of your story makes you angry? What are we not seeing? What is the most important question? What puzzle has no answer? What is dangerous in this world? What causes pain?
Where in the world of your story is there unexpected grace? What is beautiful? Who is an unrecognized hero? What needs to be saved?