In this book we show not just why emotionally intelligent leadership drives resonance, and thus performance, but also how to realize its power—for the individual leader, in teams, and throughout entire organizations.
Each of the four domains of emotional intelligence—self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management—adds a crucial set of skills for resonant leadership. These domains are, of course, closely intertwined, with a dynamic relationship among them. For instance, a leader can’t manage his emotions well if he has little or no awareness of them. And if his emotions are out of control, then his ability to handle relationships will suffer. Our research has found a system underlying this dynamic. 13 In short, self-awareness facilitates both empathy and self-management,...
people who successfully change in sustainable ways cycle through the following stages: • The first discovery: My ideal self—Who do I want to be? • The second discovery: My real self—Who am I? What are my strengths and gaps? • The third discovery: My learning agenda—How can I build on my strengths while reducing my gaps? • The fourth discovery: Experimenting with and practicing new behaviors, thoughts, and feelings to the point of mastery. • The fifth discovery: Developing supportive and trusting relationships that make change possible.
The key is uncovering your ideal self—the person you would like to be, including what you want in your life and work. That is the “first discovery” of the self-directed learning process mentioned in the last chapter. Developing that ideal image requires a reach deep inside to one’s gut level.